The Overwhelming Responsibility of Parenthood

Good morning! Today I’ve got something on the brain that I’ve been mulling over for quite some time, and in earnest ever since finding out that the hubs and I are expecting.

Go figure, it’s PARENTHOOD!

For me personally, I love the idea of being a parent (which is great considering that the hubs and I have wanted children for so long). I have to say “idea” because I haven’t been the full-time parent of a human before and I know that it will come with its own set of challenges, responsibilities, surprises, and joys beyond my ability to imagine. The hubs and I are *REALLY* looking forward to this new chapter in our lives and fully embracing the blessing of parenthood.

I write Bible verses on my chalkboard pantry door. Right now there are three that have been on my heart, and this is the first.

But there is another side of this coin; the side where I have to recognize that I will continue to be human despite my best efforts, and that inevitably means that there will be mistakes along the way. Things I’ll wish that I could take back. Things I’ll wish that I could handle better. Things that will keep me up at night and haunt me for years.

When I was a young adult, I realized that all parents really have no idea what they are doing; I realized that all parents are human and no one told them how to be a parent, they just kind of figured it out as they went along. They do some things with so much poise and grace and an impossible level of perception and empathy that they rise to super-human levels in the lives of their children. They do some things so genuinely ignorant to the impact they have on their children’s lives that they wound deeply, sometimes permanently.

When I became a parent, I realized that it would be me that had this kind of power and influence over the life of another. And, quite frankly, that thought is overwhelming.

However, I can’t allow the weight of that responsibility to consume my every thought and action. I’d be a complete mess all the time and no good to anybody, and I certainly can’t afford that now because I’m a parent. Instead, I can be thankful for my awareness of the impact I’ll have on this baby (and any others) and do my best to embody God-love and God-patience so I can be a good example.

A reminder that God answers all prayers, in His timing and His way.

Earlier today, I ran into a friend during my walk with Bosco around the park. This friend is also a mom, and expressed a concern about repeating the mistakes of her parents and hurting her children. I decided to share what I feel like I’ve learned from observing and talking with my own family. Hopefully you’ll find it useful, too.

First off, every parent does something “wrong”. Despite even the best and most noble intentions, there will be something that rubs your kid the wrong way or comes across not even remotely as you intended. And, because we’re all individual humans and not copies of our parents, we won’t always get along. We won’t always see eye-to-eye with our kids/parents/grandparents/siblings/etc. We won’t always be able to understand motivations or desires, and we won’t always agree with the choices that our loved ones make.

This isn’t intended to be disheartening! Once we accept the reality that there will be tension about something at some point, you can move on to focusing on the really important part of parenting:

Communicating love.

“As we’ve grown up,” I said to my friend this morning, “we’ve all kind of realized something really important: We always have each other’s backs.

We might not always agree with each other. In fact, we won’t!

And we have been known to say, ‘You are driving me crazy right now!’ and in the same breath say, ‘And you know what, I love you!’

Because we appreciate each member of our family for who they are, and we encourage them to be themselves, and we love them unconditionally…even (and sometimes especially) when they do things we don’t understand and can’t relate to.”

My parenting experience level might be overwhelmingly “novice”, but I truly believe that the core of parenting is setting your kids up to embrace themselves, so they can in turn learn to embrace others.

We are all different, unique, and designed to do some amazing stuff in life. And, as parents, as long as we can instill the confidence in our children that lets them go out and tackle whatever dreams God places on their hearts, we’ve done something right.

So go: parent, scold, cheer, hug, love, disagree, embrace, encourage, mess up, and be wildly blessed and proud of your children. Take a deep breath when things feel crazy and remember that they are little people who won’t always agree with your perspective and are sometimes (really amazingly) bad at communicating. Because at the end of the day they’ve got your back. And you’ve always got theirs.

And God’s got everybody’s back, so we’re cool.