Things My Dog Has Taught Me About Life

Life in our house is a pleasant menagerie of two big humans, one tiny human, a dog, and three very sassy cats. Even without the furry-four-footed babies, we’d have our hands full adjusting to family life and figuring out our new balance. Sometimes, the number of mouths demanding attention can seem overwhelming! Sometimes, though, being surrounded by the wisdom of animals is just what I need to get through the day. In that vein of thought, here are some nuggets of wisdom Mr Bosco has taught me lately:

• When the lawn mower breaks and the continual rain for three weeks followed by perfect vegetation-growing sunshine causes your yard to turn into a jungle, sometimes you just need to lay down in that grass and pretend you’re a tiger.

Hubs and Bosco out adventuring. Fall 2014

• When life turns up the heat, you need to take a nap in the sunshine like the bathing beauty you are.
• You don’t have to be friends with everyone you meet. You don’t have to stay friends with everyone you know. The mailman might do something deserving of a growl. Just don’t bite people, because that’s something you can’t take back. (No, Mr Bosco doesn’t bite! Don’t worry! He just grumbles at what he doesn’t trust.)
• Sometimes the best thing you can do when the baby is crying a lot is lay down and take a nap.

Inter-species snuggles with my pregnant belly. Summer/Fall 2015

• You will absolutely make mistakes. That doesn’t make you a bad dog. In fact, you’re a really good dog! Learn from your mistake, but don’t let it haunt you.
• Bask in your sunbeams, no matter how tiny they are.

Sunbeams are the best. Winter 2015

• When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break and go chew on your bone. Sometimes, stepping away so you can recover is the best way to show how much you care.
• ALWAYS be excited to see your people. ALWAYS.

Kiss the Lil’ Man. Spring 2016

Thank you, Mr Bosco

In My Son’s Eyes

Today, my lil’ man is 7 weeks old. Man, just MAN! I need to let that sink in for a minute… A mere two months ago the hubs and I were still waiting for our baby to make an appearance in this world. We didn’t know if we were going to have a daughter or a son. We were anxiously waiting to see his or her face for the first time. We were making sure our bags were packed, and I was napping as much as possible! And here we are today: where sleep is a seldom-obtained treasure, breastfeeding is my new hobby, and we can’t remember what life was like without our son. It’s hard to believe that less than a year ago we thought we couldn’t have our own children.

Me, the hubs, and lil’ man. And Gaelic, the big orange cat. Lil’ man isn’t so sure about photos.

God is so good.

As I’m learning about and adjusting to motherhood, I try to pay careful attention to the lessons my newest teacher has for me. I chatter at him through the day to help the language centers of his brain develop (can you believe that at 5 weeks his brain was already learning the cadence of spoken language, and his babbling imitates it as a form of language practice?! Amazing!), and I realize in this endeavor that I have the WHOLE WORLD to describe to him.

I can talk to him about everything, because he has yet to be introduced to most of the world. And, more importantly, the way I introduce him will shape his earliest views on what he encounters. So when I describe a winter’s day, I tell him it’s very cold, crisp, chilly, or even frigid, but I never call it horrible, awful, or terrible. Because while I might think it’s a bad thing to be a very cold day, lil’ man hasn’t made up his mind about it yet.

He might not have any idea about the meaning of the words that I’m saying, but he is paying attention to me and paying attention to how I see the world. Which means I need to pay attention to him, and how he is learning to view the world. He will grow up listening to the way I talk to the animals, to his father, to him, and to myself. And, just like his babbling is doing now, he will practice by copying me.

Early one morning, before the sun had come up and while the rest of the house was sleeping (including Mr Bosco, who was curled up at our feet and snoring), I wearily held my lil’ man as he sleepily nursed for what felt like hours.

Mr Bosco is never far from his baby these days.

And, if I’m being perfectly honest, I was a little grumpy despite my best intentions to maintain a grateful heart. As I looked down to check on him, I realized he was staring right at me. He was studying my face, analyzing each feature.

I am his teacher, I realized profoundly as I saw my own reflection in those sweet eyes. Just as he is mine and we learn to look at the world through each other’s eyes.

Lil’ man’s sweet eyes. Can you tell that he’s laughing?

Workout Nutrition

I’ve had a number of clients lately ask me about the “best” things that they should be eating, especially on days when we’ll be working out. I can definitely appreciate the question; nutrition is a complex topic with as many right answers as there are people in the world. Combine that with an array of misinformation (think fad diets) and the fact that you are basically doing chemistry inside your very unique body, and the whole idea can easily become overwhelming. You may find yourself thinking, ‘Man, nutrition is really hard. I don’t know how to cook/pick healthy foods/loose weight/gain muscle/etc. I’ll just get this [prepackaged food] that says it’s designed for what I want so I don’t have to think about it…’

I get it! And I’ve been there, too! That’s why I’ve decided to write about nutrition for today’s post; so all of you can have access to what knowledge I have.

Step 1: Know Your Metabolism

Your metabolic rate, or your metabolism, is the pace at which your body uses fuel (food) to do the activities of your day (stay alive, walk the dog, work, workout, etc). This is NOT a constant and can be greatly affected by your lifestyle.

The trouble is, most of us have NO IDEA what our current metabolic rate is (or RMR, for resting metabolic rate). This information can be critical in determining the first step of eating well: eating enough calories for your body!

A lot of us, especially women, in our society are afraid of calories. We associate that word with weight gain, fat, and even lazy! Unfortunately, by not eating enough, you may in fact be sabotaging your workout and healthy weight management goals!

Your body knows how much fuel it needs to keep all of your various, complex, amazing systems running. For example, if Bobbi does not consume enough fuel in their day (or consistent fuel from day to day), Bobbi’s body will adjust its engines to conserve fuel. It will start shutting down nonessential processes in an effort to slow down Bobbi’s metabolism. This can lead to unintentional weight gain, which in turn may cause Bobbi to start eating less in an effort to slow down the weight gain. Bobbi’s body notices it’s not getting enough fuel, so it goes through the process of slowing down its metabolism again. It may start converting everything Bobbi eats to fat stores, in an effort to prepare for what is surely a famine. This is called Starvation Mode.

Fortunately for Bobbi (and the rest of us), metabolism can be changed. If Bobbi consumes a regular amount of good fuel, then their body will bring itself out of Starvation Mode and functions will start returning to normal. This process will be slow, as all changes for the body are and should be. Slow change is sustainable.

Thanks to science and technology, there are tests that can be performed to determine what your metabolic rate is. They usually run somewhere around $50-$100, and need to be performed by a trained professional or technician.

RMR, or Resting Metabolic Rate test

VO2Max test

You can also use online apps to estimate what your metabolic rate is. Bear in mind that these estimates will not be as accurate, but it can give you a good place to start your journey.

Metabolic rate calculator

**Again, using an online app will most likely NOT give you an accurate estimate, but it can at the very least tell you the lowest amount that you should be eating (as in don’t eat less than it suggests). For instance, the link above doesn’t ask for pertinent information like how active you are/if you are pregnant/etc. It’s suggestion for me is only 1/3 of what I should be aiming to get on a daily basis.

Step Two: Figure Out What You Need

Okay, so once you know how many calories (or units of energy, for those who fear the “c” word) you should be getting on a daily basis, it’s time to figure out what your particular needs are. To keep things simple, we’ll only be looking at the 3 macronutrients in this blog post, but bear in mind that an imbalance of micronutrients can also effect how your body functions. You can enlist the help of a health care provider or nutritionist to help you figure out what holes your diet has if you are looking for more information about that topic.

Your 3 macronutrients are carbohydrates, fats, and protein, and every person needs some ratio of all three of them. Often I encounter clients trying to cut out one or more macronutrient group with limited success toward their weight management goals. This is because our bodies are designed to function with all three groups, and they all have equally important roles to play for our bodies.

Carbohydrates

Eat this stuff.

I’ll go ahead and assert that most if not all people need to be consuming a majority of carbs in their diet. Now, bear in mind that carbohydrates come in more varieties than white pasta and breads. Fruits, veggies, and whole grains (including wheat, amaranth, quinoa, rice, spelt, and a whole heck of a lot more than I have time to write about) are all in the carb family.

Carbs are important because they are the only things that get turned into glycogen, which is the main fuel source for your working muscles and your brain. Choosing healthy, complex carbs is a great way to get the energy you need for your body without loading up on the empty calories that we tend to associate with all carbs in general. Complex carbs are things that take your body longer to break down; think whole grains and crunchy, fibrous fruits and veggies versus their simpler counterparts, white grains and squishy fruits and veggies.

Fats

Eat this stuff.

 

A few decades ago, a trend in food came about that said “Hey, if we get rid of fat in food then people won’t gain fat from food! Yay!” Unfortunately this was an incorrect hypothesis, but our concern about cutting all fats out of our food persists to this day.

Fat is a necessary part of every body and every diet. Fat insulates our bodies, cushions our organs, helps us process certain vitamins and minerals, makes for healthy hair, nails, and skin, plays a large role in reproductive regulation for women, and composes most of your nervous system (to name a few things). And, although critical, it’s also important that this macronutrient make up the smallest portion of our daily diet.

When choosing fats, pick options that are real fats (aka not transfats!!) and very lean. Your fat should also come from a food that’s already doing another job for you. For instance, if you eat salmon for protein, you’re also getting an awesome source of Omega-3s and other fatty acids. Nuts are also a great source of protein in addition to fat. Other options include lean cuts of meat, avacados, coconut, oils, and cheeses. As with all things in life, moderation is key. It may even help to rename this category splurges.

Protein

Eat this stuff, too.

Everybody loves this section! And most people in Western culture are probably getting enough of this very important macronutrient. Keeping your options lean and varied will give you the greatest health benefits while still providing essential amino acids. When you eat protein, your body breaks it down into different amino acid chains. These chains are the building blocks for your muscles, and since it’s a pretty involved job to break the protein you’ve eaten down into building blocks, it has the added benefit of helping you feel full longer!

If you don’t follow a carnivorous persuasion, there are many options you can use to get enough protein in your day (about 50g for women, 90g for pregnant women, and 60g for men). Nuts, legumes, certain vegetables, and dairy products all contain impressive amounts of protein. You just might have to work a little harder to consume your protein over the entire day instead of in one meal.

**If you are a person who is looking to gain more muscle mass or are more active in general, you may need more protein than the average person.

DO NOT EAT THIS STUFF.

Step Three: Eat A Balanced Meal Every Time You Eat

Maybe you like to eat 3 meals a day. Maybe you prefer to eat 6 small meals a day, so it’s more like grazing. Maybe you use a protein shake for at least one meal a day. Whatever your food lifestyle looks like, make sure that everything you put into your body is balanced. Not only does this make it easier to determine if you’ve covered your nutritional bases throughout the day, but it helps keeps your blood sugar in a happy homeostasis!

This applies whether you’re looking to eat a pre or post workout snack or planning your week’s worth of meals. A balanced meal contains all three of your macronutrient groups in appropriate ratios. Here are a few of my favorite examples, but feel free to experiment with what you like best:

Post Workout Snack

1 medium apple (95 cal; 0.3g fat; 25g carbs; 0.5g pro)

3 Tbsp natural peanut butter (285 cal; 24g fat; 7g carbs; 8g pro)

2 cups dark chocolate almond milk (200 cal; 2.5g fat; 19g carbs; 1g pro)

Total: 580 cal; 26.8g fat; 51g carbs; 9.5g pro

Morning Meal; I eat 1/2 when I wake up, and 1/2 about 2 hours later after walking the dog

2 farm fresh eggs (160 cal; 10g fat; 1.2g carbs; 12g pro)

2 cups plain yogurt (280 cal; 8g fat; 32g carbs; 22g pro)

1/4 cup frozen blueberries (20 cal; 0.3g fat; 5g carbs; 0.3g pro)

1/2 cup peaches (30 cal; 0.2g fat; 8g carbs; 0.7g pro)

2 slices gluten-free toast (160 cal; 7g fat; 24g carbs; 2g pro)

2 tsp butter (60 cal; 8g fat; 0 carbs; 0 pro)

2 Tbsp raspberry preserves (100 cal; 0 fat; 26 carbs; 0 pro)

Total: 810 cal; 33.5g fat; 96.2g carbs; 37g pro

Please be very aware that the amount I eat and the amount you eat may not need to be the same. I try to eat at least 400-500 calories at each meal, and I eat about 6 times a day. My meals always follow the same trend: mostly carbs, usually from fruits and veggies; a healthy dose of healthy fat; and a respectable amount of protein. In the above examples, I’d have ingested almost 50g protein already in my day. If I were an average, nonpregnant woman, I’d already have all the protein I need. However, because I’m pregnant, I get the rest of my 40-50g protein in my later meals of my day. This helps me stay asleep longer, since I won’t wake up hungry in the middle of the night. I’ll just wake up to use the bathroom instead. Every few hours.

Another thing I try to be consistent about is getting my sugars from fruits and other natural sources, not sweeteners or as additions to my meals. I try to limit confections as a rule, and avoid foods that have ingredients like sucralose, fructose, high fructose, and syrups. And I never, never, never drink soda. Of any kind. Because it’s awful.

There are many many many changes you can make to my examples to adapt them to your nutrition lifestyle. You can decrease the fat amount by reducing or eliminating the butter, using a different nut spread with a lower fat content, or using skim dairy products.

What are some other changes you could make to my examples to suit your nutritional needs? What are some of your favorite go-to meals? Are they balanced for your nutritional needs? Are there any gaps in your macronutrient profile?

Until next time, eat well and live with zeal!

Figuring Out A New Balance

Yet again I’ve been away from my blog for a longer break than intended! It’s crazy how that happens sometimes…

At this point, I am just over 5 months into my pregnancy and feeling pretty good. My energy is back (though not nearly as high as I’m used to), the nausea is in the past (though I still have food aversions), and I’m enjoying feeling our little baby move whenever I sit still long enough.

The hubs and I taking a snack break during our hike this past weekend.

I’m so full of blessings and good things, and yet I’m not blogging much about my zeal for life. I decided to sit down with myself and try to figure out why I’ve strayed from something I honestly enjoy so much.

A number of my fellow fitness bloggers manage to find time to post a little something-something almost every day about motivation, inspiration, frustrations, and pretty much anything that helps their audience feel connected. They share the crucial information that Yes, fitness people are still people and we all struggle sometimes! They have all done beautiful jobs of sharing their humanity with the world (or at least the part that’s paying attention) and opening themselves and their lives up to those who are reading.

And, while pondering these facts today, I realized why my approach to my blog (and therefore my product) is so much different.

While it’s very important to me that I share what I can about fitness, living well, and any inspiration or motivation I might have, it is even more important for me to have some separation from my role as fitness professional and “lifestyle tour guide.” Sometimes I just want to be “tired, expectant mother who wants to sleep all evening” or “wife who finally has energy and wants to walk her dog with her hubs.” Not that I can’t easily share these moments of my life with YOU, audience, but, well, I don’t really want to.

What?!

I know, I know, that sounded really harsh. Let me see if I can explain it better…

For me, my time with my family is sacred. The hubs and I have a rule about screen time: we can’t just zone out in front of a device when we get home from work. We have to interact with each other and, quite honestly, that practice has helped us keep growing in our personal lives and in our marriage. We read together, we share about our days, we walk the dog, we do silly, spontaneous things. And since becoming pregnant, we have tried to prioritize more of that special time with each other. Because, although having a baby is something we’ve prayed about and dreamed about for quite some time now, having a baby is also a huge life change and comes with its own set of stresses and concerns.

My hiking face.

One of the topics that we’ve been working on is figuring out the kind of example we want to set for our children and the kind of life we believe in living. I’ve never come right out and said it before, but I believe in UNPLUGGING from devices for a boost of positivity, productivity, and general zeal for life! Smell the air, feel the breeze, use your body. Do those things that make you reach into the depths of yourself and learn who you really are, and what you really are zealous about. And when I think about our kid growing up in the example we set, I want to make one thing very clear to them:

Life doesn’t take place online.

That isn’t to say that I am a complete Luddite who hates all things technology; I am writing a blog right now, after all! But I do think that we rely heavily on our devices to fulfill some of our basic social-creature needs (affirmation, acceptance, relationships, etc) instead of seeking connections in the real world around us. In some cases, we rely too heavily on our devices and it starts to have a negative impact on our real, tangible lives.

A recent study I read noted that not only are younger and younger people using screen time excessively, but as those kids grow up they feel jealous of the screen time their parents use. They feel that they need to compete with devices for their parents’ attention. Worse still? According to this article, 25% of parents would agree that screen time takes their attention away from the lives of their children.

Devices have the power to enhance our lives and bring us closer together. But they also have the power (if we give it to them) to make us feel socially alienated and dissatisfied with our own situation (“Why can’t I do what he does? What’s wrong with me?”) instead of embracing it and shaping our own vision of what a zealously lived life looks like.

In the end, like everything else in life, it’s all about finding the balance that works for you. As the hubs and I figure out the balance of our new family life, I’ll also be adjusting the balance of my professional scope and my personal space. Bear with me as I grow into this new role as mother-wife, friend, and professional (in that order). In the meantime, I challenge you to think about your life balance. Is there anything that doesn’t sit right with you in this season? What can you do to change that? What’s holding you back?

Bosco and I looking out at the view we worked for during our hike.

If nothing else, take a deep breath in, let it out, and think about how wonderful it is to be right where you are right now. It’s the only place you can be that will get you where you’re going!

Blessings,

Michelle

Making It Stick (*Not Suck)

The difference is in the approach!

Hello and, again, a happy new year to you all! Now that the holiday rush seems to be settling down (and snow days on the East Coast seem to be on the rise), it’s a good time to reflect and set your sights on the goals you have for 2015.

As a health and wellness professional, I often encounter individuals with the best intentions for change and a healthier life, but the realization of these plans seems to evade them. This sort of set back or lack of direction can be disheartening and zap the motivation you had to achieve your dreams. Thus, as promised in my previous blog, I’m setting out to hopefully provide some guidance toward goal achievement!

When it comes to setting goals, the main authority on the matter is YOU! If a person feels pressured into a life change that they didn’t initiate, the motivation to achieve the change isn’t there. It can also hurt you if you actively work against your goal (consciously or subconsciously) as a form of rebellion. As such, step one for goal-setting for me is to make sure I’m the one setting the goal. This doesn’t mean you can’t take the advice from a well-meaning family member; just that they aren’t the ones making the decision here. (And if you think YOU are that well-meaning family member, well…you might want to rethink your approach).

hmmm…

Once you have a goal in mind, it’s time to make it SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely.

Since I’m a wellness person, we’ll use increased wellness as our example goal for this exercise.

Let’s say I’ve decided to “be healthier in 2015.” That sounds pretty awesome, but I have no idea what that means. Further, each person will define that differently! In order to keep myself on track and focused on my desired goal, I need to be more specific. Instead of “be healthier” maybe my goal will be “lower cholesterol via lifestyle and diet changes” or “improve the condition of my joints so I can be more active” or “eat foods that have only have 5 (recognizable) ingredients or less” or, the all-time favorite of many, “lose xx pounds”.

Now that my goal is specific I can start a plan to actually get myself there, which brings us to our next step: make your goal Measurable. We’ll continue with the first example from above, “lower cholesterol via lifestyle and diet changes.” In order to measure my progress, I have to know where I am now. For our cholesterol example, this means I need a doctor’s appointment unless I know what my cholesterol is already.

Total cholesterol is made up of HDL (good aka helpful cholesterol) and LDL (bad aka harmful cholesterol), and there are desirable levels for each of them. For simplicity’s sake, we’ll just look at Total cholesterol, or TC.

Keeping your cholesterol in a desirable range helps prevent many health issues, especially those pertaining to the cardiovascular system. To be “desirable”, your TC should be under 200 mg/dol. Let’s say my latest check up shows my current TC at 280 mg/dol. Knowing where I’m starting from helps me keep my goal measurable: I need to lower my TC by at least 80 mg/dol.

Next up is making sure our goals are Attainable and Relevant, and I tend to think of these two as a complementary pair. Attainable goals are things that are possible for me to do: ie, if my goal is to fly it is NOT possible for me to sprout wings, but it is possible for me to consider things like para-sailing or parachuting. Relevant goals are things that make sense for me to do: ie, if my goal is to fly, buying roller blades probably won’t help me.

Alright, digressing back to our example of lowering cholesterol. Never going out to eat again is Attainable, and would probably help me lower cholesterol, but it isn’t really Relevant to my lifestyle now, and I would miss out on the opportunity to socialize which is in important component of overall wellness.

Having a recipe in mind when writing your grocery list can help you stay on track while shopping. Having multiple recipes in mind that use the same or similar ingredients can help you cut down on waste and keep your grocery bill low!

Making sure that I am prepared when I go grocery shopping by having recipes in mind and a list to follow will help me keep my cholesterol down when eating at home. Making sure I’m prepared when eating out means looking up menus in advance and knowing what I’ll order before arriving. I might even make a habit of calling in advance to ask about food preparation. Being armed with this information will make me a more informed consumer, and will help me feel in control of my cholesterol no matter where I am. Feeling empowered will keep me motivated at times when lifestyle changes get hard (because those times will come, no matter what your goal is).

Finally, we need to make our goals Timely. As in, it needs a deadline. Saying “I’ll lower my cholesterol by 80 mg/dol via lifestyle changes at some point” is nothing compared to stating “I’ll lower my cholesterol by 80 mg/dol via lifestyle changes by Dec 1, 2015.”

And while being very specific is essential for success, it’s also important to be flexible. Don’t expect to make a lot of changes at once, and give yourself some grace if you stumble from time to time. We’re only human, after all!

What are some ways you set goals that are geared toward success? What are some struggles you have had with goal achievement? How have you overcome those struggles? What have you learned about yourself along the way?

Happy goal-achieving in 2015!

A Beautiful Mess

Hello and Happy Holidays! It’s been a while since I’ve posted here (not since Staying Dedicated) as the hubs and I are focusing on the wonders of the holiday season and spending time with family and friends. But the other day I had one of those amazing teaching moments and I feel compelled to share.

We were having breakfast for dinner (one of our family favorites, aka: BRINNER) and I was making my over medium eggs. There’s definitely an art to that whole ‘flip the egg without breaking the yolk’ thing, and it helps when you’ve remembered to put butter in the pan first. Which I did not. And my yolks broke.

Yum yum yum! Photo courtesy of Three Dog Kitchen http://treedogkitchen.com/2011/11/17/land-o-lakes-eggs/

Broken yolks don’t matter that much. I mean, it’s not like I spilled everything on the floor. It was still edible, it just wasn’t what I wanted. It wasn’t what I’d been imagining myself eating. It wasn’t what I was looking forward to enjoying.

I called to the hubs, who was in the other room, lamenting that I’d ruined my brinner (dramatic much?). I was so disappointed in that moment because I knew I wasn’t going to be getting what I wanted. When I type it out like this, it really does sound pretty ridiculous!

But here’s the best part: it was amazing. I mean, absolutely AMAZING just the way it turned out. I was so thrilled with my scrambled eggs on gluten free corn tortillas with fresh tomatoes and black pepper that I forgot about over medium eggs. And I ended up getting a better meal (by adding tortillas and tomatoes) than I would have had otherwise.

This. Is. AMAZING! Photo credits for Eddie Cantor (actor, 1933) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Cantor

I commented to the hubs that I hadn’t ruined it at all, that it had instead turned out better than I had hoped for. This is a super silly example, but it still did a good job at stopping me in my tracks and reminding me about one of my favorite characteristics of life: it always works out!

If I had focused on my disappointment over the eggs not being exactly what I was expecting, I never would have been able to enjoy my meal in the long run. On a grander scale, I can recognize how frequently I stand in my own way like that in life. If the weather is colder than I want it to be, I have a hard time getting over that fact and appreciating the crisp blue sky or the graceful way the naked bones of the trees reach for the clouds.

My little egg disaster was actually a beautiful mess that reminded me to be open to change and flexible in my expectations. It reminded me of a lesson that I’m still working on fully internalizing: just because it’s different doesn’t make it wrong. In a world where we are quick to judge and take an ‘us vs. them’ mentality in our families, our work spaces, and our social lives, we all need to be reminded of this lesson.

Each and every one of us is a beautiful mess. This holiday season, I pray you are able to embrace the crazy with the expected, the perfect with the imperfect, and appreciate it all as part of the mosaic of your life. Even broken yolks can be a blessing to you, if you are willing to let them.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the hubs, the Green Hat, Bosco, and I to you!

Good morning snuggles

Enjoying some exercise on Turkey Day.

 

Sweating for a Cause

Turns out, that whole obstacle thing I mentioned in this blog takes some time and energy to work through; where have I been lately? Outside of slacking on blog-writing, I’ve been painting trim, hanging cabinets, looking up table designs, washing every article of clothing I own….you get the idea, the list always goes on! With a grateful heart I approach all of these marvelous tasks. As the hubs noted when we were folding laundry together:

“It seems like the more blessings you have, the more work you have to do, too!”

Which, honestly, makes sense to me. We are given blessings so that we can share our blessings with others and with the world, not so we can hoard them to ourselves. So yes, we have a lot of work to do. And we’re happy to do it! Because:

“Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly;if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching…”

Romans 12:6-7

We all have something we can provide, and we should strive to set out to do our works well. We can also all bring a blessing into every situation by using our gifts (like fixing up an old house). Everything we do can be a reflection of our appreciation and the blessings we’ve received all around us, if we can pause long enough and carve out enough personal space to take a breath and recognize it.

Speaking of sharing our blessings and our gifts, my sister-in-law shared this link with me yesterday, and I’ve done my research and am absolutely smitten! It’s a cause that combines two of my most favorite things: personal improvement and empowering others.

What is it, you ask? An AMAZING idea called Charity Miles. This is such a genius idea, I can’t even handle it.

What It Is

Charity Miles is an organization that has decided to encourage individuals to be healthier by using their success to fund others in need.

How It Works

Charity Miles has a free app that you can download to your iPhone or Android. It has a GPS that tracks how far you travel when the app is open and active. Every mile you walk, run, or bike funds the charity of your choice. Some examples of partnered charities include Back On My Feet, which my sister-in-law recommended and it looks AWESOME, Autism Speaks, and Feeding America, among many many many options (seriously, you should just go to Charity Miles and check it out for yourself!).

Every time you get ready to head out the door, you open your app and choose the charity you want to fundraise for. You can pick the same charity or a different one every time. Whatever floats your boat!

Charity Miles has some big backer partners, including Mizuno, AT&T, and other financial big-league gurus. #Altra, where are you in this awesome plan?? These backers have already promised to donate a certain $$$$$$$$$$, provided the people of the world actually go out and EARN that money through their sweat for their favorite charities!!

What are you waiting for? I’m charging up my phone so I can download mine today!

Prioritizing Positive

Recently, the hubs and I have faced difficulties with the house we are turning into our home. For anyone who has refurbished an older home, I’m sure you can relate and ponder up a slew of obstacles that one faces when undertaking such a task. For those of you who have never updated an older home…think long and hard about it before jumping into it!

Now, I can honestly say that I’m super glad the hubs and I chose this route of home ownership. I love thinking about all the lives that our home has touched over the past century, about all the feet that have walked our floors and where they ended up going. Bringing life back into this house feels as therapeutic to us as it is to the neighborhood (I can’t tell you how many neighbors have come up to us raving about the great job we’re doing. And my response is usually, “Really? All I did was mow the grass…”). Plus, I love feeling like Mary Bailey from It’s A Wonderful Life.

‘This drafty old thing? Yeah, I bet I can make that awesome.’

But for all the great, amazing, mind-blowing awesome that we’ve been able to experience in our short stint here thus far, there are also stresses, unexpected setbacks, frustrations, and obstacles.

Why on earth would the previous owners botch the wiring in the kitchen like this? Why do half of the outlets go to nothing?

Why does it cost so much to have a plumber come out and tighten a clamp? I could have done that!

I just found money in the sink trap. Really? I mean, I’ll take free money. But, really? How did that get there? No wonder it doesn’t drain properly.

What I’ve been insightful enough to realize, though, is that it isn’t the situation that determines our enjoyment. Not to be painfully obvious, but WE determine our enjoyment of every situation that we face.

A few years ago, I was working over 40 hours a week and living on my own in an older (and yet much younger than our current) house. I had a landlord who cared for any major problems that came up, and I repeated the same draining routine day after day. Wake up, feed the cats, leave for the day, come home, make sure the cats had water, go to bed. I wasn’t paying much attention to my furry friends (sorry, babies!) and more often than not when I returned home I was agitated, short tempered, and hangry (hunger+angry).

I have one cat who adores to be outside. At this other house, I had a fenced in back yard so I would let him out for a little while while I did chores on the weekend. Both of my cats had flea collars and I used the spot preventative treatment on them, so I didn’t think there was any risk to letting him wander the back yard and roll in the dirt (you can see where this is headed, can’t you?).

One night, when I was gearing down for sleep, I was petting this love-bug in the kitchen when I noticed a scab on his nose. When I went to get a closer look, the scab RAN AWAY INTO HIS FUR. I was mortified, turned on the lights, flipped my cat onto his back and started combing through his hair. He thought it was great, because it had been so long since I’d paid good attention to him, but I was looking for fleas. And OH BOY did I find them. Somehow, these fleas didn’t seem to care about the regular spot treatments I’d been doing OR about the fact that he was wearing a collar at that moment. He was infested.

I called to my other cat, who was already in bed, and she came reluctantly and sleepily down the hall. I searched her over too; she was infested.

These little bugs were everywhere! Somehow they had gotten a foothold, despite my precautions, and I had to take care of it somehow.

I’ll spare you the details. The short version of the story is that the cats got chemical baths as frequently as was safe to kill the critters, the house got bombed 3 times, and I packed up and stayed at my parents’ until it was safe to return to ground zero. I threw out a lot of unsalvageable things, washed everything else, and took away all outside privileges. The problem was solved.

That past event has been in my mind recently because of it’s stark contrast to our current situation. You see, the whole time that was going on I was constantly angry. I was angry at the flea-prevention products that had failed me. I was angry at the cats for having fleas. I was angry at the hubs (at the time, he was the boyfriend) for washing them in the sink “wrong.” I was angry at work for being work. I was angry at myself for not noticing the problem before it was a big problem. I was ashamed of myself for having a problem at all, like it made me less valuable as a person. There was a lot of negative floating around. The hubs and I would fight (I would get irritated by him doing something wrong, he would be hurt and lash out in response). I couldn’t live in my own house, the cats didn’t understand why I wouldn’t let them near me. I was stressed, I wasn’t sleeping, it was a mess.

Fast forward to our current situation (it’s definitely not fleas, if you were wondering). You can use your imagination and make up whatever you think our setback is, because the obstacle really doesn’t matter and I don’t want you to focus on it.

‘Don’t mind these huge spots of water damage…I’ll just cover them with wallpaper! And look adorable to boot!’

The way that we are choosing to handle our stress is significantly different this time around. For example:

The hubs and I count our blessings and say our thanksgiving prayers each evening over dinner. We toast each other for something exemplary we did that day. We are grateful to be in a position to even HAVE a house that can have setbacks. We are grateful that, when unexpected expenses come up, we have enough of a handle on our finances that it doesn’t rock the boat much. We are thankful for the cats (three of them now) that find the positive in every situation and remind us that just because it’s a challenge, or an obstacle, or a setback doesn’t mean it has to be a negative, horrible, angry thing.

‘So we gave up our life savings/honeymoon fund to help other people on our wedding night. It’s alright; I’ve fixed up this abandoned old house for us. Dinner’s almost ready.’

Let me be clear that this doesn’t mean we’re floating on daisies and prancing through life stress-free. I have my freak out moments, he has his lash out moments. What it does mean is that we are valuing each other and prioritizing the positive more than the negative. We are choosing to support each other and our marriage instead of allowing ourselves to get tangled up into complaining, negative cycles. And it is a conscious decision; it would be incredibly easy to list everything wrong with every setback, to detail how frustrating or disappointing it is. But we already know that it’s frustrating and disappointing – we don’t need to dwell on it. What we DO need to dwell on is how many things we have to be thankful for.

‘What’s that? It’s Christmas Eve and you’re about to be arrested and we’ve got four kids to support while we try to save you and your business? Don’t worry, honey. We’ve got this.’

In our wedding, hubs and I wrote our own vows. Not surprisingly, we wound up using some of the same symbolism and words even though we didn’t collaborate on it (we also got each other the same wedding gift!). I vowed that I would dance with him all of my life, be it for happiness, sorrow, joys, or fears. He vowed to be my partner in the dance of life, tumbling, laughing with, crying with, and supporting each other until, breathless at last, it’s time for our next journey. We both vowed to remember first and foremost that we are each other’s team. We vowed to remember where our priorities lie, and to protect our sacred oath to each other above all else.

First photo of us ever taken. 2006, at a college social club dance.

Teaching dance, 2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

2011/2012 Christmas

2012/2013 Christmas

2012

The greatest threat to our union (or anyones’) isn’t a monster or an army. It’s the daily grind of life, the setbacks, the ins and outs and happenings that pass unnoticed and unappreciated. And so we face those obstacles boldly, hand in hand, with the same fierceness as if that obstacle was a monster or an army bent on ill-intent. And somehow, when we choose to face life together like this, it makes all the difference. Even crappy situations can be like rubber bands, wrapping around us and pulling us ever closer into each other. This time, and every time setbacks come up (because they always will), we prioritize the positive in our lives and cling to that. Because, in the grand scheme of things, carving out the positive is all that really matters.

‘Because, in the end, we’re already surrounded by everything we need to overcome any obstacle.’

All images from It’s A Wonderful Life are property of Paramount Pictures by way of Liberty Films, released 1946.

Stop Verbally Abusing Yourself

Hi readers,

I’ve been wrestling with this blog for a few weeks, which is part of the reason why I’ve been so AWOL lately. The other parts of my absence have to do with a summer full of fun family trips, huge house projects, and working on achieving some of my own personal goals (I’m working my way through a few advanced yoga poses, and it’s time consuming and hard!!). All things to be thankful for, to be sure, but this topic has finally reached the point where it demands to be written! And so, here I am.

The topic I’m covering for today is one that I know to be very sensitive. I know it cuts deep for many people, myself included.

We need to stop verbally abusing ourselves.

Pre-Race Prep: Mental Preparation

Meditating with the ocean while I stretch my hips out after a run. August 2014 vacation.

A few weeks ago, I started this series talking about carbohydrate loading before an endurance event and why it works. Hopefully, you were able to glean the proper way to anticipate your body’s needs through carb loading instead of using the term as a reason to engorge yourself on flour products the night before a sporting event (one of my major pet peeves)! The hubs and I have been filling the end of our summer with many family travels, which is fantastic, but it’s time for me to sit down and end the suspense. The next segment in this series is finally here!

Outside of analyzing my fuel needs as a part of pre-race prep, I also spend a good deal of time on mental preparation. Nothing beats proper physical training when it comes to making sure your body is ready for the task at hand, but self-doubt can paralyze even the most experienced person. No matter how many times you physically practice jumping onto a platform, if your mind is full of niggling doubt and all you can see happening is an epic failure, chances are your performance will suffer for it.

The amazing power of the human mind to help us prepare for challenges has been documented and utilized by sports psychologists, and more recent studies support the role of mindfulness in the Mindfulness-Acceptance-Commitment relationship (or MAC). You can read an easily-digestible scholarly article excerpt here about this approach. Although visualization and MAC can appear to be at odds with each other, I believe they both have a place in the preparation phase of a challenge. Let me explain…

MAC supports acknowledging the existence of negative thoughts or emotions about an event (Mindfulness). Once you acknowledge that you have an “Achilles heel,” or an area where you feel less confident, you can then move to Acceptance. Accepting the reality of your emotions, thoughts, and fears removes the power of those feelings over you. This step also allows you to approach your event without obsessing over any shortcomings or limitations you anticipate. The goal is to stay objective in this step, which can be hard, neither applauding nor condemning the thoughts. You acknowledge them for what they are, and then move on. In the third step of this process, Commitment, you have the opportunity to own your fears and insecurities, and commit to doing the best job that you can regardless of any anticipated setbacks.

Visualization is the practice of meditating on results that you want to see: you practice seeing yourself in your mind’s eye approaching the challenge at hand; you tackle the challenge, and succeed gloriously. Leading up to your event, it is suggested that you complete this practice regularly, maybe even getting to the point that you are dreaming about your upcoming success, not just the challenge. Using mental imagery in this way can enhance the nervous system’s reaction time and therefore improve physical performance, as well as increasing confidence and helping you to feel more prepared for the task at hand. The technical term for this is Visual Motor Behavior Rehearsal, or VMBR.

You can read more about mental imagery exercises and performance in these textbooks.

Sounds like a bunch of hooey, doesn’t it? And, truth be told, it can be hard to objectively compare such a subjective matter (ie, there are no markers to compare how successful I feel after VMBR or MAC versus how successful YOU feel after VMBR or MAC). However, more concrete findings of physical markers (breath rate, blood pressure, heart rate, reaction time) correlate reliably, and indicate that these sorts of practices do in fact improve performance.

The hubs and I , appreciating a beautiful day after church and a run while on vacation. We try to remember to be fully in the present moment, which is a meditation in its own right. 

With the hectic pace we all tend to run at in our daily lives, it is beneficial and improves your overall wellness in many ways to take some time to readjust your focus. Whether you’re getting ready for an Olympic competition or facing the challenges of your day-to-day, using skills learned through MAC, VMBR, or similar meditation can positively influence your physical and mental health, your outlook, and help you be and feel more prepared. So the next time you find yourself preparing for an event, or just feeling stretched a little thin, I challenge you to take some time to refocus your attention on what’s important. What is your goal? Why are you doing this event? What are you anxious about? What are you not anxious about? When you take the time to self-realize, you may not only calm your nerves but also reach new heights that seemed unattainable!

What do you think about these concepts? Have you ever used them before? If you have some time to read a good scholarly article on the topic, check this out!